destination
Come along and hear a gripping tale about a man with a cell phone bill.
One day last month, I went into work the day my cell phone bill was due. I needed $35 that day to pay the rest of my phone bill, or my service would be “interrupted.” So I clocked in at work and thought about how all I needed was $35 that day and I’d be alright. It was a slow day, so I knew that over $100 was highly unlikely, $50 would be reasonable, and $75 would be a very good day.
$35 to pay my phone bill. $20 for gas would be nice, although I had enough gas to last me a few more days so I could get that on the next shift. If I made another $10 I could splurge and get Chipotle for dinner that night instead of a tv dinner or PBJ at the house. So all through the shift I thought about making $65. If I made $65 that day, all would be right with the world, at least for a day.
When I counted my tips that day and took out the appropriate amount for tipout, I looked in my hands and saw that I had $67 that I didn’t have when I walked in.
I share this experience to make two points.
The first is this: for much of my adult life, I have carried on each day with no goal in mind. I believe that this way of life is in some conflict with, if not completely contrary to, human nature. It also robs me of efficiency and productivity, because as I’ve illustrated in the preceding example, I work much better with a goal to achieve or a deadline to beat.
The second is this: No matter how desperate things get, no matter how much I struggle, somehow I always get by.
When I need $65, I somehow come up with $67. When I needed a 98 on a final to make an A in Economics a few semester ago, I made a 100. When I come up a buck short, I find a five on the street.
Some call this luck, karma, fate, or the power of positive thinking. I call it God. Not in the sense that God takes care of me because he loves me more than the people who come up a buck short and don’t find a five, but in the sense that sometimes, if you really look closely enough, this world does make sense. It wouldn’t happen without hard work and perhaps a modicum of ingenuity, but I don’t believe that those two qualities are enough alone.
I’m living day-to-day right now, and to be perfectly honest, I’m barely getting by. It’s terrifying. I actually envy the people who live paycheck to paycheck. But in a few short months I won’t have to live like this anymore1 and making it another few months until that relief comes might be the goal I need to keep hanging on.
With that said, I also have a long-term destination more firmly set in my mind than ever before, and I’m excited for what the future holds.
May mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.
1 Financial aid at UTA came through in a big way. Prayer answered? I like to think so.
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